Sometimes I Think God Hates Me

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Why do you think God hates you?

If you do maybe you're right...

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I think God hates me too.

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Sometimes I think God hates me.


I started out my life rough. I was born premature, had eye problems from day one. Then my parents started fighting and after that they split up shortly after sending me to school. I didn't like school and shortly after starting school I learned I would have to go for 12 years or more. I didn't make any lasting connections although I did receive 12 years of writing lessons. Shortly after graduating high school, I developed a substance abuse problem. I haven't been able to hold down a job for over a month since then, so I decided to go into business. I have failed at every venture I tried. Then 2 of the last 3 grandparents I had died. After that shit really hit the fan, I went crazy (5150) 4 years in a row and had to be institutionalized and put on the highest doses of anti-psychotic medication allowed and was forced to go on welfare.

I went thru all this thinking that God loved me.

I guess I was wrong because I don't think a loving father would make someone he loves to go thru these types of experiences. 

I may be wrong because YHWH loved Christ Jesus but had him killed in the most gruesome way possible, a la crucifixion.

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